What’s the deal with dicks? Today, we’ll be talking about cocks, dongs, schlongs, peckers, Johnsons, sexcaliburs, or whatever term you prefer to use for the glorious male genitalia! But, this isn’t about girls worshipping the D like there’s no tomorrow or boys being obsessed with the size and shape of their equipment.
Rather, it’s about humanity’s fascination with the phallic shape. We’ll focus on its manifestation in penis decorations, architecture, festivals, sculptures, and more. But why does humanity hold the phallic shape in such high regard? Are we really obsessed with our members? Let’s find out!
Firstly, archeologists believe that our preoccupation began over 28,000 years ago. In 2005, they found a siltstone phallus in the Hohle Fels cave in Germany. That is the oldest evidence of phallic representation. Many refer to it as a “stone age dildo.” For millennia, we’ve depicted penises as well as female sex organs in countless works of art, sculpture, and architecture. You’ll also find a few religions that practice penis worship.
We can find examples of our cock obsession in ancient Egyptian and Roman cultures, and it’s also present in ancient Greece, India, Asia, Northern Europe, and the Americas. Usually, cultures create penis art with a conscious effort. But, there have been some instances in which artists simply designed a phallic symbol without even thinking about it.
Either way, a phallus usually refers to an erect dong. It bears some obvious connotations along with not so evident symbols. The phallus emphasizes male fertility, vitality, power, sex, and male orgasm. What’s more, some cultures in Europe regard it as a symbol of the sanctity of marriage or even God.
Of course, in recent times, those meanings have changed. Now, we use the phallic shape to market pornography, sell sex toys or contraception, or even make provocative jokes.
Penis-shaped decorations, religious ornaments, pottery, and primitive sex toys have been around since 3500 to 1500 BC. Yet, right now, all it takes is a simple search on an e-commerce platform to find a massive range of cock-themed decorations. That includes phallic-shaped healing crystals, wooden penis ashtrays, handmade dolls, monster penis art sculptures, bottle openers, and more. You can even order flower pots with cock decorations, penis casting kits for DIY figurines, or even bizarre mashups like Dickosaurus or Circumsnail statues.
If you want to fill your interior with dicks, think about what the powerful symbolism of the phallic shape means to you. You can place them in your bedroom to set the mood, for example. If that’s not your thing, you can use other decorations that have a comedic or witty effect.
On the other hand, such decorations can have a deeper meaning. For example, the Romans created fascinum figurines to embody the divine phallus. They used objects like tintinnabulum (dick-shaped wind chimes) to ward off the “evil eye” and bring good fortune to homes.
One of the most legendary examples of phallic architecture is a majestic 75-ft obelisk. It once glistened in front of the gates of Luxor Temple in ancient Egypt. Another is the Emire State Building. Many interpret this colossal structure as the ultimate symbol of phallic power.
In ancient cultures, phallic architecture actually paid tributes to the deities. Phallus worship even dates back to the Stone Age, and it was especially common during the Bronze Age too. However, it was most evident in ancient Egypt, which in turn inspired the Romans and the Greeks. They created their own phallic architecture in shrines and temples. Again, the purpose was to make a tribute to the deities.
Many architectural theorists believe that any building with a vertical shape can represent male power, penis size, and dominance. It can definitely make us reexamine the meaning of our favorite structures and buildings like the Leaning Tower of Pisa or the Washington Monument.
Shinto Kanamara Matsuri Festival
If looking at phallic-shaped buildings in your neighborhood doesn’t really amuse you, you could visit one of the biggest dick-themed festivals in the world.
Tokyo’s penis festival or Kanamara Matsuri is a yearly event that takes place each April. It’s all about the one-eyed monster, its shape, and its role in Japanese mythology. But, some sub-themes include LGBTQ, business prosperity, and marital relationships. Over 30,000 people from all over the world visit it each year.
At this festival, you can visit various exhibitions on shrine grounds. It’s also possible to try some penis-shaped foods like lollipops and vegetables. However, the parade is the most famous part of the festival. It includes a procession with swarms of women and men transporting giant phallic objects in portable shrines. After the parade, you can also purchase all sorts of cock-themes goodies. That includes clothes, candles, paintings, etc.
Speaking of open spaces with plenty of dick statues, Haesindang Park is certainly a must-see destination for all aficionados of the male genitalia. It’s located in a village in South Korea. The park contains over 300 statues of wooden cocks that are up to 10 ft long.
According to legend, a young virgin drowned in the area, and her partner couldn’t save her. After that, the fishermen were unable to catch fish, and people thought that the water was haunted. However, a fisherman peed in the water and found a big catch after that.
Immediately, he thought that the spirit of the dead virgin girl gave him a reward because she finally saw a male penis. The story then states that most of the village residents carved their own penis statues to please the woman.
That’s how Haesindang Park was created. It’s a good explanation for some of its bizarre statues. In the park, you’ll find wooden cock cannons, a fisherman with a penis protruding out of his mouth, small dreamcatcher-like sculptures, and even dick-shaped stools, which are probably too hard to sit on!
Phallic Paintings and Sculptures
Another form of penis art that we haven’t mentioned yet hails from Bhutan. Phalluses are esoteric symbols in Bhutan, and you’ll often see them on paintings and even house walls.
Bhutan’s obsession with dicks began in the 1400s with the building of Chimi Lhakhang temple. This temple was created to honor Drukpa Kunley, the saint of fertility. Also, his penis bears the nickname the “Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom.” Not surprisingly, women loved him. The monk actually regarded sexual intercourse as a type of blessing. He was also responsible for the phallic paintings, most of which are colorful and emphasize the power of the cock! Some believe that the paintings can ward off evil spirits and ill-intended gossip. Also, most display ejaculation or semen to emphasize fertility and power.
When it comes to contemporary art, one of the most famous pieces is Herman Makkink’s “Rocking Machine.” This sculpture was created in 1969 and became famous in the film “A Clockwork Orange.” It is one of the most significant modern phallic art pieces because of its unique penis shape and meaning. Namely, the fiberglass sculpture portrays a giant male penis but with a base that looks like the female rear. There is a pendulum on the inside, and the sculpture can swing up and down. That way, it reflects the sexual revolution of the swinging 1960s.
So what do you think? Did we ruin your appetite or make you obsessed with penises even more? Either way, history shows that it’s in our nature to worship them and their symbolism. So you definitely try that out as a pickup line. Or go and find yourself some penis decorations or even the real thing if you’re lucky! Have fun!